Newspapers: more than fish n’ chip wrapping

Yup, that's me. Sorry, couldn't resist the 'boast post' - the 'Munster Express, Jan 6th, 2012.

It’s January 14th, I’ve already completed a house move (and all the cleaning, paperwork and furniture selling/dumping that entails), I’ve spent a week in Budapest and prepped for a week of OFSTED inspections. I  hope 2012 will slow it’s pace soon so I can get some headspace and start thinking again. I’ll need conjure la muse… and get some inspiration for new works.

Leonardo di Vinci used to stare at the walls in his studio until the damp patches formed scenes and figures he wanted to paint. If you look closely at some of his works, you can even see how those dark stains suggested the rock formations he conjured. Of course, you don’t so much ‘get’ ideas as you eek them out from within.

Hopefully, you don’t have damp patches around your writer’s garret. You may have yesterday’s newspaper, however. I worked as a journalist for many years and love newspapers and appreciate them as a source of ideas and stories for the creative writer. For starters, you could just take an existing story and change the setting/gender etc… to make it your own. Ideas will come to you as you work on it.

Alternatively, you could apply the ‘what if’ question. The ‘what if’ question prompts you to consider alternative endings. A good example of this question is Stephen Fry’s Making History, in which he explores a world where Hitler was killed in WWI but an even more dastardly figure comes to prominence, and wins.

The small ads section can spur the imagination. Hemmingway once said his best work was one he wrote in six words: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”. It’s clever as there is clearly a heavy back story here but Hemmingway, being Papa, does not spell it out. My point is that you could operate in reverse, search the small ads and then write its back story. Think of the tale behind a novel that ends with that small ad.

Then there are photos. Ignore the captions/related stories. Look at the photos and guess what is going on. Develop an identity for someone in the background of a picture. Give them a problem. Imagine how they are being affected by the main event in the photo. The key is to go for the more obscure shots. Obviously, if it’s a picture of 9/11, the chances are you’re not going to come up with anything too original but if it’s a picture of a man biting a dog, you may be on to something.

Go hunting, Newshound!


Welcome 2012 And Resolution Writing Course

Revellers bring in the New Year, Hungarian style

Here in Budapest, tradition states one must eat a bowl of lentil soup on New Year’s Eve/Day to attract luck and fortune in the year to come. Last year, my friend Joska invited me to lunch on Jan 1st. He’d cooked a barrel load of the stuff and it was so cold outside we rather overdosed on the bean. Lo and behold, 2011 turned out to be a year of great fortune re my writing. I won three awards, was shortlisted for even more, had quite a few shorts published. Moreover, I set up this website and my online writing course – both of which I’m enjoying immensely and I’ve resolved to make the course my focus for the coming year.

My course, ‘Creative Writing: A Toolbox’ is a six week online one-on-one creative writing introduction. With it, I aim to help you realize your dreams of writing creatively, or improve the practice of those already writing. The course regards the tools of the craft and provides online support for your work via feedback and guidance in relation to editing, submission and markets. Each course is adapted to suit the individual needs of the specific student. There is also the option of retaining my services as a mentor/critic/coach after the course ends.

Creative Writing: A Toolbox’ is supported by written material, exercise, assignments and a weekly 45 minute one-on-one online tutorial to guide the student through the six step, six week writing course. This tutorial is usually given via Skype, though some students prefer to use email alone – that is for the student to decide.  Over the six sessions, the student is introduced to the know-how, ‘tricks’ and skills of the writer and can work on their own project, such as a short story or part of a novel – whilst, receiving online coaching, instruction, feedback and guidance from Sue.

Throughout the course,  students will receive a full professional critique of their work from Sue.

All inclusive price: €150 (introductory offer)

For more information, please contact me on : bpapartment at gmail dot com

In the meantime, if you’d like to make your own Hungarian lentil soup check here: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/lentil-soup-2/

Joska eating lentil soup on New Year's Day

Wishing you all the best for 2012 – may your ships come in with your dreams onboard.

Sue xo


The Lenin of the Sexual Revolution

An article I submitted this month to Live Encounters, on Maurice Girodias, the “Lenin of the sexual revolution” –  a Paris based publisher who dared to first publish many of the mid-late 20th century classics.

http://liveencounters.net/?p=454


What Kind of Beast is This?

What sort of beast is this?

One of the questions most frequently asked in creative writing classes is “how long is a novel/play/short story/screenplay?” And, as is often the case in creative writing, the answer is that there are no rules but… there kind of are.

There is not an official cut off word count for any of the above literary forms but the publishing industry has generally accepted average lengths. Be alive to the fact that just because your word count has hit the “magic number”, it does not follow that you are finished. Apart from the fact you’ll be lobbing off at least a third in edits, you also need be sure that you have brought all the strands of your story to satisfactory conclusion, have made your point and your character has undergone some sort of change / journey / learning arc in the process. Otherwise, to paraphrase Truman Capote, your’re just typing.

What follows is a rough guide/ballpark figure for each literary form:

 Novel

The average commercial novel is 78,000 words in length; this roughly amounts to 300 A4 pages in double spaced twelve-point font. However, a novel can be anything from 45,000 words onwards. A book between 20,000 – 45,000 is usually marketed as a “novella”.

 Short Story

Traditionally, a short story is meant to be read in one sitting. Normally, this narrative form is quite pointed in its message, involves a single setting and few characters. A short story can be anything from 1,000-20,000 words.Writing short stories is a good way of building up your story telling skills, honing your craft as a writer and amassing a writing portfolio. Also, the short story is the literary form favoured by writing competitions. Such competitions usually look for stories in the 2,000-5,000 word bracket.

Flash Fiction

This is the short story’s kid brother. Somewhat akin to the Haiku, a flash fiction story often aims to capture a fleeting moment. It can be any thing between 100-1,000 words. Flash fiction is becoming very popular in competitions these days. Personally, I think this may be to save reading time for judges.

Screenplay

The standard “Hollywood” screenplay is 90 minutes long. Given the rule of thumb that one page equals one minute of movie, you should be aiming for a90-page long screen play. Obviously, this is an approximation.

 TV/Play

Likewise, the page per minute rule applies here too. Bear in mind the slot your are aiming for. commercial TV and radio stations will include advert breaks in their schedule – so a half hour comedy show might in fact be only 22 minutes long etc… If you have a slot in mind, time the duration of the actual show (excluding theme music and commercial breaks.)

 Stageplay

The page per minute rule can roughly be applied to stage plays too. If a stage play were to last an hour and a half, it should be 20,000 words long and span 90 pages.

 Poem

A poem can be as short or as long as you like. A  haiku is traditionally 17 syllables over three line. The Iliad is 25,000 lines long. For the try outs, however, you might aim for two or three verses.


grama rulz OK, innit!

Grammar - Giving your work the final hose down

Warning: You enter this grammar post at your own risk.

Once you’ve had your feedback and have chopped, pruned, rewritten and reshaped your work, you’re ready to go, right? Wrong. Next, you need to don your pernickety gloves and work on grammar, spelling and punctuation.

This type of revision is called a proofread and it is separate from the critique your friends gave re characters, story, POV, tone and structure. A proofread regards layout and correct use of language. A proofread is the final polish.

Never hand in a submission blighted by incorrect or inconsistent punctuation, bad grammar and misspelled words – thinking the story will shine through. They (the slush pile readers) will be turned off by your sloppy copy and will probably never read on into your story, so it won’t get that chance to shine through. If you’ve spent a year writing a novel, respect your work enough to spend another couple of weeks proofreading. It’s only common sense.

As you’ve probably read your own work countless times, you may be blind to copy mistakes. A keen eyed friend is invaluable here. Also you could cut a sentence sized gap in a blank page and place it over your text to check every sentence individually, with the rest of the text blanked out. This may sound painstaking but it is a very good focusing tool.

Many emerging writers are concerned about grammar, unsure of their own knowledge and application. I’ve been an English (as a foreign language) teacher for fifteen years and can recommend the following grammar self-study book (known in the TEFL world as ‘the grammar bible’): Raymond Murphy Grammar in Use. You’ll be able to pick up a cheap copy on Amazon. Spend a night or two doing the exercises, it’ll stand to you.

Also, I could wax lyrical about whether to use double or single quotes for dialogue (or to use any at all) and the difference between US and UK conventions regarding the same. However, I think the best is for you to take ten novels down from your shelf and see how the majority of them format dialogue and then apply the same convention to your work. Whichever you choose, ensure it is then consistent throughout your text.

Finally, here are some of the most common problems:

****Are you using the right “Its”?

“It’s” (with an apostrophe) is short for “it is”.

Its” (no apostrophe) is possessive (ie: the dog lost its bone).

NOTE: somewhat confusingly, when you want to use the possessive elsewhere, you do use an apostrophe: “Mary’s coat”, “John’s golf club”, “the dog’s bone.”

****Same sound, different spelling (homophones).

“They’re”, “Their” and “There”.

They’re (they are) sitting the car. They’re listening to their (possessive) music, they’ll be fine there (preposition of place) for a while yet.

****Using “done” instead of “did” and vice versa.

“Done” is the past participle of “do” and is normally used with the auxiliary verb “have”.  “Did” is the past simple of “do”.

(And if you have no idea what any of that means, you really do need to order that book).

So, you say either “I have done my homework” or “I did my homework” – and never “I done my homework,” or “he done his homework.”

****Saying “could of” rather than “could have” when using the second conditional tense or “could” as a modal verb in the perfect tense (yeah, see that grammar book).

“He could of gone to the shop,” is wrong.

“He could have gone to the shop,” is correct.

And please accept sincerest apologies for sending any of you off into a coma of boredom with this grammary post – believe me, it hurt me more than it hurt you.


RIP George Whitman

I’ve just read that George Whitman, the Paris-based American owner of Shakespeare and Co, has died aged 98.

I  met George when I was 18 and a recently arrived backpacker in the city in the late 80s. It was 10:30am, he gave me a glass of whiskey and told me about knowing Henry Miller back in the day, and Samuel Beckett – who was still alive. It was my first taste of the expat bohemian life – and I shall always be in his debt for this introduction.

The shop has been run by his daughter, Sylvia, for some years and still reflects George’s generous and bohemian spirit. If you are in Paris, be sure to call in.

Thanks for the moment, GW! Shine on above the Seine.


Shellakybooky First Past the Post!!!!

My Radio Play Wins First Prize
Yeeessss! My radio play, ‘Shellkybooky’ has won first prize in the Annual Sussex Playwright’s competition – a national comp run from Brighton. A nice cheque and presentation of play is on the way… : ) Whatever else, 2011 has been a bumper year for my writing! BTW ‘shellakybooky’ is a Waterford word for a snail… and the play centres round a Liverpudlian Irish family of expats in Budapest Hungary and their son’s secret life as a graffiti enthusiast…

Killing Your Darlings

The Importance of Editing

‘Murder’ or ‘Kill your darlings’ is an adage attibuted to the literary critic Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, advising writers to cut the words / phrases to which they are most attached, in order to strenghten the work. It is good advice when editing, as often we writers shoehorn in a delicious description which doesn’t do an enromous amount for the piece as a whole. It is simply a bauble. Time to get the gun out.

Editing makes the job of writer a rather schizophrenic affair where one has to don two very different caps. The first cap is that of the creative free thinker who is focused on the big picture and is not too worried about the details. This is the person who comes up with the story, the theme, the basic structure, the person who invents characters and decides on the tone. This artist-writer will draw up the first draft of the story, writing only to please themselves. Finishing a draft wearing this cap is only some of the journey, however…

Next comes the cap of editor-writer. This is when the writer combs through the text, ruthlessly chopping, restructuring and cutting unnecessary/ unsuitable words, characters, scenes, phrases etc… or ‘murdering your darlings’. This is the writer preparing the text for other people. It is a good idea to leave a few weeks between your artist and editor incarnations.

Editing can be painful, and time-consuming. You’ve quite likely become attached to some characters, scenes, words and phrases and are loathe to see them go. Don’t worry, you can store them in your “writer’s bag” for use at a future time in a more suitable context. In the meantime, get pruning…

Chopping advice:

Cut all surplus adjectives and adverbs.

Examine the phrases you’ve shoehorned in just because you liked the sound of them – do they really fit that scene? Be honest. If not, bin them.

Take out all vague words such as “seem/seemingly” and try to do without your “justs”.

Look at all sentences that run for two or three lines. Do they really need to be that long? Can you reduce them or break them up? If you can, do so.

Active forms are better than passive forms, where possible (ie. “John cleaned the flat” rather than, “the flat was cleaned by John”).

Finally, every writer on Earth needs a reader or two – fresh eyeballs to run over your work and give you honest feedback. I suggest using three friends whom you trust will be frank with you. You don’t have to take everything they say on board. Do consider what they say, however, and if all three come back and say a character is not working. The character is not working. Rewrite.


Launch of Online Writing Course

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing…. ‘Creative Writing: A Toolbox’

ClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClap

Ahem….

In response to all your lovely enquiries and requests, I’ve launched an online version of my workshop!

The six week online course, provides one-on-one coaching in the craft of creative writing, focuses on the basic tools, tricks and know how of the professional writer. Throughout this time, I provide constant feedback for your work and guidance in relation to editing, submission and markets.

Creative Writing: A Toolbox’ is supported by written material, exercise, assignments and a weekly 45 minute one-on-one online tutorial.

For more details please visit the ‘Services’ tab or contact: bpapartment at gmail dot com

 


Short story in Duality 6

 

Yay! My story ‘A Name in a Cave’ to be published in Duality 6 Anthology… A sweet way to wrap November.

Watch this space for more info… (and please excuse the boast post!)