Don't tell me, show me!
Telling: “Close the door,” she said nervously.
Showing: Her cigarette trembled in her hand: “Close the door.”
Telling: Peter was a fussy, neat sort of man.
Showing: Every Monday, Peter ironed and folded his towels into perfect squares and stacked them in the airing press, according to size and colour.
“Showing” your reader what your protagonist is thinking/doing, encourages your reader to engage more with your book/story/play, to interpret and picture what is going on. Showing also allows for more atmosphere and lends insight into character. Conversely, “telling” tends to deliver all the information neatly wrapped and can deny the reader all the fun of involvement and imagining.
Therefore, rather than telling the reader, ‘Bob was depressed,’ you might describe what Bob was doing and saying and the reader will also get a greater sense of ‘Bob’ if you do so.
Having said that, if the writer “shows” every inch of their novel it may bore the reader and slow the pace. There are times, for the sake of speed and economy, the writer needs to “tell”, so they can quickly move on to the next stage of the story.
If I could suggest a rule of thumb, it would be “show” the most important parts/events of the story and “tell” the minor linking passages. It’s your judgement call as to when and where to show or tell, but do give it thought.
Finally, please bear in mind the general consensus is that you always avoid telling via adverbs in speech attribution: “he said arrogantly”, “she shouted defiantly”, “we mumbled apologetically”. Instead, try to think of ways you could show this arrogance, defiance or apology.
November 26th, 2011 at 14:31
I tend to struggle with the showing concept but you’re right about cutting out superflous adverbs and adjectives. When you can’t get away with wrapping it all up with one word, the text is far much interesting. I’m editing a novel at the moment and forcing myself to delete and rewrite chunks of it. Thanks for your advice.
November 26th, 2011 at 17:00
This is my pet “teaching moment” with beginning writers. And to show by using active instead of passive verbs.
November 26th, 2011 at 17:29
Thanks for this, very useful examples.
Jim
November 26th, 2011 at 20:50
Thank you – great examples!
I always try to be aware of what I’m “showing” and “telling”, and sometimes I’ll just get out what it is I’m trying to say before going back and sticking in some details.
I tend to “show” a little too much at times, dragging things out longer than they have to/should be.
Great advice. 🙂
November 26th, 2011 at 22:42
We learned this is creative writing a few weeks ago. Very effective.
November 26th, 2011 at 22:45
Actually, both are necessary. Read the “great writer” of your choice and you’ll find both “telling” and “showing” in action. Too much “showing” makes for very dense prose, and sometimes, less is more. Interesting exercise, though.
November 26th, 2011 at 22:58
Yup, which is precisely the point I make – if you read the post.
November 27th, 2011 at 00:58
First. Thank you for your post. AS a new writer who is trying to get better at it, this will be helpful to me and others. Thanks for your reading and looking around my blog as well. Hope to follow your blog as well.
All the best!
November 27th, 2011 at 04:32
‘Telling’ too much is getting to be a real bad habit of mine, and it’s particularly awful if you’re working on a script. Of course it also doesn’t help if ‘showing’ makes you too chatty either, like you said. Fine line to walk, but I guess it’s all made up for in the editing process if you lose your way. Thanks for the advice!
November 27th, 2011 at 06:16
Excellent examples. I struggle with the whole tell vs show in the sense you suggest: when to do it and not. Thanks for the tip!
November 27th, 2011 at 12:58
This is a great post. Thanks for sharing. I am a screenwriter, and when it comes to showing vs telling we always go with showing. Film is a visual medium, and in every screenwriting class, book or DVD I have come across they always drill into your head about showing over telling. A lot of the screenwriting material focuses on format and not so much on the emotional impact you can make by choosing your words wisely. A few years back I bought a book called “Writing for Emotional Impact” by Karl Iglesias. He is a screenwriting consultant and writer. That book has taught me so much about storytelling and driving the emotion of the characters in your scripts over plot. I think this goes for narrative writing as well. Character is what drives the story. Characters are what people remember in great writing. I love the post and I think you do a great job. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.
November 27th, 2011 at 13:07
And thank you for your great comment!
November 27th, 2011 at 16:46
I understand that many folks have trouble with the “showing”. I do not. For my current project, I have written out at least two entire chapters and at least three major sections of “showing”, complete with dialogue and so on, only to later replace the whole section with a single paragraph or line of explication.
“Showing” draws the reader in, but the reader is only visiting the world. They don’t need, as I sometimes say, to know where you keep the toothpaste.
November 27th, 2011 at 18:24
Thanks for visiting my blog! I’ll be following yours now as well.
I definitely agree that writers need to find a good balance between showing and telling, although I would offer this one caveat. I’m getting my PhD in Communication Studies, and one of the things I research is how vocal inflection can substantively change the meaning of a message. Inflection, however, is difficult to show. I think that there is a place for (sparing) use of telling in describing how a character said something, when it is meaningful for the story.
November 30th, 2011 at 04:21
I agree, but this does not have to be done in the attribution. As with so many things, it is good to have a “bag of tricks” at hand.
Which is more compelling?
1.”I wouldn’t,” he said angrily.
2. His brow furrowed and the finger drew tight against the trigger.
“I wouldn’t.”
November 27th, 2011 at 18:41
Hi Sue, I’m new to your blog — great stuff here! Your advice re: when to show vs tell is right on the money. I primarily write non-fiction, but posts like this are very useful. I’m looking forward to going through your archives. Thanks for following my blog.
November 27th, 2011 at 19:46
Good advice, Sue. Thanks so much for the reminder.
November 27th, 2011 at 21:00
Thanks for following my blog! I look forward to reading more great writing tips in your posts. This was definitely useful.
November 28th, 2011 at 00:27
really great tips and so well put across
November 28th, 2011 at 12:48
I love these examples. Just when I make the commitment to show not tell I fall into the trap of exposition. Thank you Sue for the reminder!
Cat
November 28th, 2011 at 13:17
Her eyes brightened up, over a hot cup of coffee, she smiled, and her fingers reached the keyboard: “I must thank Sue Healy!” then she leaned back on the chair. “I had forgotten that…”
Ciao and Grazie!
– Maria
November 28th, 2011 at 13:28
Thank you! That’s v. sweet, Maria!
November 28th, 2011 at 17:36
A standard lesson which is regularly forgotten. Terrific examples. That final paragraph, just punched me in the gut. Gotta go work on a lot of revisions.
November 28th, 2011 at 23:30
Just what I need to read today. I just completed a semi-fiction story for teens and that was one of my biggest problems–telling too much and showing too little. I did get the problem fixed, but if I had read a blog post like this one sooner, it would have saved me a few months of editing. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
November 29th, 2011 at 02:24
[…] from others already successful as writers. Many of them have blogs. I personally prefer to read Sue Healy’s blog (editing) and the Warrior Writer (structure.) Just go to the tag search and type in […]
December 4th, 2011 at 16:06
So helpful. Thank you.
December 4th, 2011 at 21:05
Thanks so much for these tips, and the examples – very helpful!
February 11th, 2012 at 10:12
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