Hole cut in Liverpool building. Now you see it…
I’m going under the knife today. Nothing too serious, a day procedure, though it does involve a general anaesthetic. To be honest, the most stressful part is trying to figure a to-fro from the hospital, being alone and carless in this country as I am. And I’ve got a lot of work to do when (and however) I get back from the op – with a re-write due on a play, a funding application pending deadline and a rake of bills and repairs due on my Budapest flats as well as organising for a dinner party tomorrow (yes, I know it’s dumb timing but it’s the first time in my four years in Norwich that I’ll have my aunt and uncle in town for the night so don’t want to miss the opportunity of having family around).
Coincidentally, it was this same aunt who once told me that if you put a red circle round a date on a calendar it attracts other happenings like flies. And these stressful moments often make me think about the career I’ve chosen. And the sacrifices I’ve made for it (see alone and carless mentioned above).
I have made a lot of sacrifices, that of a family for instance, and the chance of financial security (considering I have no independent wealth or spousal support, nor do I stand to inherit anything at any stage in my life). So, yeah, at moments like this, especially when facing a surgeon’s knife, one does start to ask one’s self why one does what one does…
I do it for rather selfish reasons, rather than the altruism of contributing to society. I do it because writing gets me happy and, to some extent, keeps me sane. And my writing is the only thing that never lets me down. People will disappoint, I’ll let myself down sometimes, but my art is there and constant and always offers solace, comfort and a new trip with every project. And not having family, my stories and plays are my kids, they’re me passing it on to you. Such reasoning will probably not make sense to most, but it will to fellow artists. We do it because that is what we do and who we are, and we want to do it well and because in the end, our art is always worth it.
Now you don’t…
suehealy 
September 10th, 2012 at 08:15
Good luck!
September 10th, 2012 at 08:17
Sue – thanks for your post! All the best with your surgery – and all the logistics around it (I know how it goes)! be well. –
September 10th, 2012 at 08:23
good luck and thanks for all the posts – I like others have consumed them for fuel to the flame of the craft. The dedication does show! We all need rimdered though – others don’t do it by magic either. There is a cost. As all the fairytales actually do tell us!
September 10th, 2012 at 09:01
Here’s hoping for a positive outcome and quick recovery.
September 10th, 2012 at 11:50
Sue,
Take care of yourself. No matter which path we choose in life, embrace it and live it to the fullest. No regrets. And whatever you do, don’t measure it up against another’s. It is your alone.
Hope you recover quickly and have lots of fun with your relatives.
September 10th, 2012 at 15:54
Best of luck with the surgery and the to and fro.
You have a passion…it’s more rare than you might think!
September 10th, 2012 at 17:16
First of all, I hope you do well with your procedure. My most positive thoughts are with you.
I also wanted to let you know that I relate to so much of what you say in this post. I too am single, although I’m lucky to have my parents still in my life to help me out if things get too bad. But when they’re gone, I’m on my own. With the chronic health problems I have, sometimes the idea is very frightening. I lean heavily on my writing and reading — as long as I have those, I know I’ll find a way to get by.
September 10th, 2012 at 19:11
Hi Sue, I hope today went well and that you get back to your inspirational and enjoyable blogs ASAP. I read them all. thanks from a Waterfordian (blow in) Gary
September 10th, 2012 at 19:40
Best of luck with the surgery. If it helps I wrote a post a while back how anesthesia may be the perfect vacation. Be well.
September 10th, 2012 at 20:29
Good luck honey, I hope it all went well 🙂
Xx
September 10th, 2012 at 21:36
Dear All, thank you so much for all your well wishes. I survived the ordeal : ) And an angel appeared in the guise of my kind Portuguese flatmate who took some hours off work to come and collect me (hospital would only release me into the care of a ‘responsible adult’ – a problem as not only am I on my own in this country, but I don’t know many ‘responsible adults’. ) Feeling a bit tired an emotional now, but was fussed over with food, tea and hotwater bottles by said flatmate, and my landlord, and have been cheered by your messages and calls and emails from friends. Suddenly, I don’t feel so alone, I feel rather lucky in fact.. Thanks all.
September 11th, 2012 at 16:13
Hi Sue, first of all I wish you good health. I have nominated you for an an award, see my post ‘Silver Quill Blogger Award’.
October 11th, 2012 at 01:35
This is so awesome! Thank you for sharing. It’s really inspiring to see a fellow writer not giving up on her passion to write. I so needed this. I just wrote a blog entry on one of my blogs to celebrate people like you who 1) took the time to look at my other blog- Dance Me Free- and comment or follow it – thank you :-), and 2) who take the time to share their experiences and thoughts with others out there, even if they are uncertain of who will, and how they will, be received. Thanks. Here is the link if you feel like checking it out : http://scribbleitdown.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/to-blog-or-not-to-blog-is-anyone-even-reading-this/
And I hope you don’t mind if once in awhile, I link your blog, or your posts, to my writing blog. 🙂