Tok Jo! (Hungarian for ‘Pumpkin Good’ or ‘Perfect’) a painting by me, 2003

Freewriting is what you write when there’s no one looking. Freewriting is the madman in your brain taking the controls and sending words all the way down to the tips of your fingers. Freewriting is where you’ll find the most brilliant story ideas, if you look hard enough.

To freewrite, just write. Write the first word that comes to mind and then follow it with another. Set an alarm if you can. Don’t worry about grammar, structure, character development – just write. And when you’re done, stand back and take a look. Is there anything in there you can use. I’ll say there is!

Here’s an example:

‘Right now I’m sitting at my computer and the coffee cup is on the edge of my desk. It looks a little like an iceberg, as it is white and chipped and cold because the coffee has been in it since the morning as I didn’t do the washing up last night and the sink is full of plates and saucers. All those plates look surreal sitting unwashed in the sink like that. All at different angles like a Picasso painting with ketchup instead of paint dribbled over the plates. I wonder if Picasso got his ideas from waking up one morning and seeing his jumble of washing up in the sink I wonder if all the museums in the world actually have pictures of Picasso’s washing up and not his mistresses and Guernica and does that mean the joke is on us?’

The above freewrite might seem silly but it’s also an example of how freewriting could, potentially, inspire a proper piece of writing. This daft thought about Picasso’s washing up could easily be worked into a comedy radio play where a hung-over Pablo Picasso and Henri Matisse wake up after a night out on the town and dare each other to paint a picture of the mess of washing up in the sink. Thus, the modern art movement is accidentally launched. Another possibility you could take from this freewrite is the concept that something generally considered ugly and in need of repair or attention (washing up) can lead to tremendous artistic inspiration – and this idea could form the kernel of a short story or a poem.

Here, chose one of the prompts below and let it lead you into a three minute freewrite.

I wish I had said….

It was no use pretending….

A long time ago…

For the first time ever….

It was the day the pumpkin appeared on the chair…

did you hear the one about....

Jokes! Jokes are a great source of plot ideas. An established writer gave me this tip years ago and it has served me well.

Jokes, you see, are plots in miniature. Stories sealed up and ready to go. You’ve got your beginning, middle, end, your conflict, your characters – flaws and all. All you’ve got to do is flesh it out. Expland on it. Change gender and setting if possible. And no, it doesn’t have to be funny because many jokes (indeed, stories) need an element of tragedy to make comedy (and vice vearsa) and you can just crank up the aspect you want to emphasize.

Here’s a joke that gave me an idea for a short story recently shortlisted for a competition:

“It was Ryan’s funeral and the pallbearers were carrying the casket out from the church. When they bumped into a pillar, one of them heard a moan from inside the coffin. They opened the lid and found Ryan alive. He lived for another ten years before he properly died. Another funeral was held for him and, as the pallbearers were carrying out the coffin, Mrs Ryan shouted “Now, watch out for that pillar!”

OK, it’s the way ya tell ‘em… But the point is that they don’t have to be the funniest jokes – just so long as there is a story in there, a universal truth with which your readers will react and engage. Wordplay/puns won’t work so well, go for the story…

Here’s another one you can chew on for a story idea (it goes down well in the creative writing classes I give in an English prison…)

The defendant knew he didn’t have a prayer of beating the murder rap, so he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of manslaughter. The jury was out for days before they finally returned a verdict of manslaughter. Afterward the defendant asked, ‘How come it took you so long?’ the juror said, ‘All the others wanted to acquit’.

Wise old trees

Writers worth their ink need to be making some point with their story. By that, I mean your tale ought not be solely just a boy-meets-loses-regains-girl trip.

Beneath your storyline, there should be something else going on, a deeper message, your comment on how humanity works, or doesn’t. It is a writer’s (or artist’s) job to present the human condition as they interpret it. It isn’t meant to be heavy and scary, I’m simply suggesting that once you’ve written your story, or even just have an idea for one, you should sit back and consider what it could be saying on a larger, universal scale.

A good way to understand this concept is to consider Aesop’s Fables. Each one is a tale that could be enjoyed on a superficial level by a child, yet there is a deeper meaning, or moral, which endeavors to teach the child some universal truth about life, ie being slow yet determined is often better than being hasty and fickle (Tortoise and the Hare).

A good place to seek inspiration is a list of proverbs. A proverb is usually a metaphor and encapsulates in simple terms, a lesson from the common experience of humanity. Here’s an exercise that might get you going: sit down and have a think about the specific meaning of the following and then go freewrite a story illustrating this philosophy.

Graveyards are full of indispensable people.

You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

A little learning is a dangerous thing.

The belly has no ears.

Trees don’t grow to the sky.

A dumb priest never got a parish.

The only free cheese is in the mousetrap.

Eaten bread is soon forgotten.

The squeaky door gets the oil.

Let spring in...

Right, that’s January out of the way – a month where one recovers from Christmas. In fact, I’ve always found it a rather silly month in which to make plans and resolutions, as one doesn’t feel like doing much when it’s brass monkeys outside. February, however, is a different matter. In Ireland, February 1st, St. Bridget’s Day, is the first of spring. There’s not a helluva lot of differnce between winter and spring (or indeed summer) in Ireland – but it is the concept that is important. On February 1st, I get moving again.

And, if I’m moving, I’ve got to enter some comps. So, let’s have a look at competitions with deadlines running up until the end of March. You’ll notice that many of these are Irish competitions, this is partly because, obviously, I’m Irish and these are the comps I know of, but also because the short story and story telling is held in such esteem in Ireland, it’s got to have more writing contests per square foot than any other district of the universe. However, if you have information regarding prizes, contests or awards with a deadline before March 31st, running in your country  – please feel free to add/comment.

Finally, please note that I’m merely collating information posted elsewhere on the Internet. I am not responsible for or affiliated with any of these competitions and have no more information than that on the website listed. Please do not send your entries to me and please do not write to ask about the specifics of individual contests. I won’t know. It’s best to go to the website address provided and inquire there.

And good luck!!!

Writers’ & Artists’ Yearbook Short Story Competition

Prize: £500 plus a place on an Arvon course

Entry Fee: n/a

Deadline: February 14th 2012.

Website: http://www.writersandartists.co.uk

Irish Post/Stena Line Writing Competition

Prize: £500 & free travel to Listowel Writers’ Festival in Co. Kerry.

Entry Fee: £n/a

Deadline: 2nd March 2012

Website: http://www.irishpost.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=100

NOTE: Only open to Irish/Irish descent resident in Britain (ie the theme concerns the Irish immigrant experience in the UK).

The Bryan MacMahon Short Story Competition

Prize: €2,000

Entry Fee: €10.00

Deadline: 2nd March 2012

Website: http://writersweek.ie/the-bryan-mcmahon-short-story-competition

The Writers’ Week Originals Competition

Prize: €750

Entry Fee: €10.00

Deadline: 2nd March 2012

Website: http://writersweek.ie/writers-week-originals-competition

The Eamon Keane Full Length Play Competition

Prize: €500

Entry Fee: €20.00

Deadline: 2nd March 2012

Website: http://writersweek.ie/eamon-keane-full-length-play

Twisted Stringybark Short Story Award 2012

Prize: $300 AUS plus publication

Entry Fee: $9.75 AUS

Deadline: 4th March 2012

Website: http://www.stringybarkstories.net/The_Stringybark_Short_Story_Award

Cúirt New Writing Prize 2012

Prize: €500

Entry Fee: €10

Deadline: 5th March 2012

Website: http://www.cuirt.ie/component/content/article/3-newsflash/70-cuirt-new-writing-prize-2012

Limnisa / Bluethumbnail SHORT STORY Competition

Prize: One week full board writers’ retreat at LIMNISA

Entry Fee: £6

Deadline: March 15^th, 2012

Website: http://www.bluethumbnail.com/Author/competitionpage.html

Mslexia 2012 Women’s Short Story Competiton

Prize: £2,000

Entry Fee: £10

Deadline: 19th March 2012

Website: http://mslexia.co.uk

Molly Keane Memorial Creative Writing Award (I won this last year!)

Prize: €500

Entry Fee: n/a

Deadline: 26th March 2012

Website: http://www.mollykeanewritersretreats.com/2012writingaward.htm

PJ O’Connor Radio Drama Awards

Prize: Professional production of the best three 40-minute plays with €5,000 to Winner

Entry Fee: n/a

Deadline: 30th March 2012

Website: http://www.rte.ie/radio1/pjoconnorawards/

The Bristol Short Story Prize

Prize: £1,000

Entry Fee: £7

Deadline: March 31st 2012.

Website: http://www.bristolprize.co.uk

Plymouth University’s Short Fiction Competition

Prize: £500

Entry Fee: £10

Deadline: March 31st 2012.

Website: http://www.shortfictionjournal.co.uk/

The Moth Short Story Prize

Prize: €1,000

Entry Fee: €8

Deadline: March 31st 2012.

Website: http://www.themothmagazine.com

The Short Fiction Journal Prize

Prize: £500 plus publication

Entry Fee: £10

Deadline: March 31st 2012.

Website: http://www.shortfictionjournal.co.uk/competition.html

And finally… not a competition per se, but a chance to have your work published in leading literary magazine. The Stinging Fly are accepting submissions up until March 31^st: http://www.stingingfly.org/about-us/submission-guidelines

Put some magic on the page

It’s dawn 6am and you’ve risen early just to get those ‘morning pages’ done. And you’re staring at a blank sheet. Writer, you need warm up.

Just as many painters will apply a beige wash to a blank canvas to stop it looking so virgin – you’ll need to put something down on the page – “hggahgoidihgogha” will do, just get something down, break that white, crack that ice. Next, do a non-dominant hand exercise. If you are right-handed, then pick up a pen and start to write with your left. If you’re on a laptop, then type “The quick brown fox…” with your left hand alone. If you’re left-handed, apply vice vearsa.

Enjoy the sensation of the pen flowing over your paper or the tap of your finger tips on the keyboard and don’t think too hard about what you’re writing. Let it flow. When you’ve written out the fox/dog sentence a few times, continue on with the story. Where does the fox go next? Why is the dog feeling lazy? Where are they? What does the air smell like? What sounds can you/they hear? Is it hot or cold? Wet or dry? How does the dog feel when the fox jumps over him? Does he plan revenge? Once you’ve done a paragraph or two, you’ll probably find that the creative juices are flowing enough for you to turn your attention to that story you were working on before – or read over your freewrite, there might be the kernel of something worth working on.

Now, I’m off to take my own advice…

Why this picture? Whywhywhy?

A fellow graduate of my MA in Creative Writing recently asked why I continued to write short stories, if I see myself as a ‘novelist’. The truth is I don’t see myself as a ‘novelist’ or a ‘short story writer’, ‘playwright’ or a ‘poet’. I see myself as a writer and believe that a writer should be able to (at least) try all written forms.

Truth be known, I write and enter short story competitions for the following reasons and it is good for me to have this list at hand – in case I ever question myself.

a) Being shortlisted encourages and motivates – when such stuff is difficult to come by in the writer’s life.

b) I can get published in literary magazines.

c) Money, if I win.

d) It keeps me on my toes and hones and polishes my craft.

e) By writing stories I build up a portfolio – ready to go in case I’m ever offered a collection.

f) It gives me an edge when applying for bursaries, residencies, funding etc..

g) It might bring  the attention of publishers.

h) Short stories are something I can work on when time is limited.

i) An agent once told me that it is important to build up your writing ‘credits’.

j) Agents are human and sometimes don’t trust their own judgement, so wins and commendations give you that ‘seal of approval’/credibility.

k) Short story writing is a better displacement activity than making a cup of tea.

M) Having good writing credits help when applying for writing jobs.

p) Writing short stories reminds me that I’m a writer.

The day job...

A wise writer once said to me that it’s not so much the pram in the hall that’s the impediment to a writing career, but the bills on the door-mat. Money worries are the bane of creativity. And unless independently wealthy, the emerging writer will have to make a living while waiting for that book/film deal (and probably for a while after that fact too). Writers need to work; the question is what kind of jobs are out there?

Many will consider other (more lucrative) forms of writing to bring home the bucks. Journalism is an obvious  choice and is still, probably, the most common second career for many creative writers. Moreover, a journalistic background provides marvelous training re editing and brevity of approach. Copy-writing, particularly website copy, is also a popular income booster for writer but both copy-writing and journalism are less satisfying forms of writing for the creative writer and spending all day writing on the day job can make it difficult to come home and do the same at night.

Teaching English and/or creative writing is another common earner for writers. My TEFL training and experience has given me a sound grip of grammar and the intricacies of the English language – all of which is of great practical use to a writer. A TEFL teacher also (usually) travels and such experiences can feed into your work. Teaching creative writing allows you to deconstruct the tools of creative writing, which may benefit your own writing. However, you usually need a track record of publication before you begin to look for work in this area.

It is not uncommon for writers to work a mundane job such as on a factory line or as a manual laborer. Such tasks sit quite well with a writing career as they give the writer time to think, to let ideas bubble and boil ready to write down after the shift has finished. Also, with a job so utterly removed from writing, you will be fresh and eager to sit at your laptop of an evening. The downside of any brain numbing, repetitive work is that it has no status. This fact should not be important but it is because writers are human, so for a writer to stay in a lowly job, s/he needs determination, focus and confidence in their reason for doing this type of work.

Writers, of course, come from all walks of life and all career backgrounds. For those of you who may be considering giving up your job to write full time, you need to remember that you’ll (most likely) still need to make a living. Maybe the job you have is not glamorous or interesting, but these are often the best complementary jobs for writing. So, if you really want to be a writer, the greatest sacrifice you make may be NOT giving up the day job -  but staying with it.

Yup, that's me. Sorry, couldn't resist the 'boast post' - the 'Munster Express, Jan 6th, 2012.

It’s January 14th, I’ve already completed a house move (and all the cleaning, paperwork and furniture selling/dumping that entails), I’ve spent a week in Budapest and prepped for a week of OFSTED inspections. I  hope 2012 will slow it’s pace soon so I can get some headspace and start thinking again. I’ll need conjure la muse… and get some inspiration for new works.

Leonardo di Vinci used to stare at the walls in his studio until the damp patches formed scenes and figures he wanted to paint. If you look closely at some of his works, you can even see how those dark stains suggested the rock formations he conjured. Of course, you don’t so much ‘get’ ideas as you eek them out from within.

Hopefully, you don’t have damp patches around your writer’s garret. You may have yesterday’s newspaper, however. I worked as a journalist for many years and love newspapers and appreciate them as a source of ideas and stories for the creative writer. For starters, you could just take an existing story and change the setting/gender etc… to make it your own. Ideas will come to you as you work on it.

Alternatively, you could apply the ‘what if’ question. The ‘what if’ question prompts you to consider alternative endings. A good example of this question is Stephen Fry’s Making History, in which he explores a world where Hitler was killed in WWI but an even more dastardly figure comes to prominence, and wins.

The small ads section can spur the imagination. Hemmingway once said his best work was one he wrote in six words: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”. It’s clever as there is clearly a heavy back story here but Hemmingway, being Papa, does not spell it out. My point is that you could operate in reverse, search the small ads and then write its back story. Think of the tale behind a novel that ends with that small ad.

Then there are photos. Ignore the captions/related stories. Look at the photos and guess what is going on. Develop an identity for someone in the background of a picture. Give them a problem. Imagine how they are being affected by the main event in the photo. The key is to go for the more obscure shots. Obviously, if it’s a picture of 9/11, the chances are you’re not going to come up with anything too original but if it’s a picture of a man biting a dog, you may be on to something.

Go hunting, Newshound!

Revellers bring in the New Year, Hungarian style

Here in Budapest, tradition states one must eat a bowl of lentil soup on New Year’s Eve/Day to attract luck and fortune in the year to come. Last year, my friend Joska invited me to lunch on Jan 1^st. He’d cooked a barrel load of the stuff and it was so cold outside we rather overdosed on the bean. Lo and behold, 2011 turned out to be a year of great fortune re my writing. I won three awards, was shortlisted for even more, had quite a few shorts published. Moreover, I set up this website and my online writing course – both of which I’m enjoying immensely and I’ve resolved to make the course my focus for the coming year.

My course, ‘Creative Writing: A Toolbox’ is a six week online one-on-one creative writing introduction. With it, I aim to help you realize your dreams of writing creatively, or improve the practice of those already writing. The course regards the tools of the craft and provides online support for your work via feedback and guidance in relation to editing, submission and markets. Each course is adapted to suit the individual needs of the specific student. There is also the option of retaining my services as a mentor/critic/coach after the course ends.

‘Creative Writing: A Toolbox’ is supported by written material, exercise, assignments and a weekly 45 minute one-on-one online tutorial to guide the student through the six step, six week writing course. This tutorial is usually given via Skype, though some students prefer to use email alone – that is for the student to decide.  Over the six sessions, the student is introduced to the know-how, ‘tricks’ and skills of the writer and can work on their own project, such as a short story or part of a novel – whilst, receiving online coaching, instruction, feedback and guidance from Sue.

Throughout the course,  students will receive a full professional critique of their work from Sue.

All inclusive price: €150 (introductory offer)

For more information, please contact me on : bpapartment at gmail dot com

In the meantime, if you’d like to make your own Hungarian lentil soup check here: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/lentil-soup-2/

Joska eating lentil soup on New Year's Day

Wishing you all the best for 2012 – may your ships come in with your dreams onboard.

Sue xo

Well, here we are in 2012 – a year full of armegeddons and spaceship invasions. Personally, I’m hoping for an invasion of a different type of  ‘ship’ .Veterans of this blog will know that when I refer to ‘ships’ I’m talking about all the stories and writing opportunities which I’ve sent out on spec re publication or have entered into competitions etc… I have always liked the idea of my stories as ‘ships’ as it somewhat relieves me of responsibility – once launched, they are out there and I can only hope they return to port in some form, preferably laden with a win or publication.

Last year I sent out a total of 57 ships. Some 20 returned to port, 37 never made it. Rejections/disappointments/ non-runs/PFOs are part and parcel with the writer’s lot and learning how to handle them is one of the most important (and difficult) lessons a novice writer faces.

I when I was 22, I wrote seven short stories. They were bad, really pretentious, crammed with adjectives and adverbs and with no theme or character development or point to any of them at all but I thought they were pure genius. I sent them off to every magazine I could find in the bookstore. And waited. And waited. And waited… until I became convinced that they had all been lost in the post. It was the only explanation, surely, as any editor would recognize my genius immediately, no? A couple of months later, I received a single rejection letter. And the truth dawned. No one else even bothered replying. It was 100% rejection. I was floored. I burned the stories I was working on and I didn’t send anything else off for another ten years.

That was very stupid of me. I should have brushed myself off and tried again. I would be in a much better position and be a better writer now if I had. But I wasn’t strong or  mature enough to know that then. Ah, well. During my first year on my MA at UEA, I sent out another batch of stories. I’d had a few shorts published at this stage and was confident that I’d now win every competition going and it would pay my MA tuition. And, again I got nowhere. I was pretty down but I recalled how I’d let rejection defeat me before and vowed it wouldn’t happen again. I sent out more stuff, and then more stuff. And after six months, I won the Mary and Ted O’Regan Award, and then the Annaghmakerrig award and the Molly Keane Award, the HISSAC and the Sussex Playwrights’.

Don’t give up – look at how you can improve your rejected story and send it out again. Remember, much depends on what the magazine or the competition judge is looking for at that particular time, it may not be a comment on your writing skills.

The 2011 stats:

Ships sent out: 57

Wins/acceptance/short-listings/publications:20

Ships sunk without trace: 37

The 2012 stats:

Awaiting news on 9 ships launched.